What You Are Going Through In Your Life Is Temporary

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Things happen. We can’t control everything. But we can control ourselves. We can control our feelings. We can control our emotions. And we can control how we react to what we are going through.

Whatever it is that you are going through in your life, it is not going to be there forever.

Do not focus on what you are going through. Instead, focus on what you are learning from what you are going through.

Change is possible only if we learn from what we are going through. Growth is possible only if we learn from our problems. Success is possible only if we have the courage to do what others don’t do. And fear is conquered only if we have the courage to face it.

When you are faced with something bigger than you, do not give up. Instead, focus on what you can do to make it better. Remember, you get what you give your attention to.

When you give your attention to problems, you will get more problems. When you give your attention to solutions, you will get more solutions. You can make any situation better when you focus on solutions. Because problems need solutions, not more problems.

Wherever you are, do not make things worse. instead, make them better.

This Is What Happens When You Stop Talking

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Stop talking. It is listening time. It is time to let go of what you know. It is time to learn from other people. It is time to respect other people. Why is that? Because listening to others is a sign of respect.

When you listen to others, here are some of the things you are saying to them: I hear you. I love you. You are a human being. I respect you. Your problem is my problem. We are in this together. We will get through it together. I want to learn from you. You know what I do not know. You have something important to say. I value you. We can work together. You are the boss, not me. I want to hear your struggles. I want to learn from your successes. I want you to be free to express yourself. I don’t want you to hold anything back. I want you to help me become a better learner, a better listener, a better leader.

If you want to become a better person, you must first learn how to listen.

We learn more when we listen. We miss more when we talk.

According to Amy Cuddy, “When you stop talking, stop preaching, and listen, here’s what happens: People can trust you. … if you do not have people’s trust, you will find it very hard to influence them in a deep and lasting way. You acquire useful information, which makes it more easier to solve any problem you face. You begin to see other people as individuals- and maybe even allies. You no longer see other people as stereotypes. You develop solutions that other people are willing to accept and even adopt. When people contribute to the solutions- when they are co-owners of them- they are more likely to commit to and follow through with them. When people feel heard, they are more willing to listen. … If people don’t feel that you ‘get’ them, they are not inclined to invest their time and energy in activities- such as listening- that will help them to understand you.”

Just listen. Stop preaching. If you want others to hear you, you must first hear them.

Further Reading:

Cuddy, A., Presence: Bringing your BOLDEST SELF to your BIGGEST CHALLENGES (New York: Hachette Book Group, 2015): 78-81.