Tag: Solutions

This Is What Happens When You Stop Talking

Photo by mentatdgt

Stop talking. It is listening time. It is time to let go of what you know. It is time to learn from other people. It is time to respect other people. Why is that? Because listening to others is a sign of respect.

When you listen to others, here are some of the things you are saying to them: I hear you. I love you. You are a human being. I respect you. Your problem is my problem. We are in this together. We will get through it together. I want to learn from you. You know what I do not know. You have something important to say. I value you. We can work together. You are the boss, not me. I want to hear your struggles. I want to learn from your successes. I want you to be free to express yourself. I don’t want you to hold anything back. I want you to help me become a better learner, a better listener, a better leader.

If you want to become a better person, you must first learn how to listen.

We learn more when we listen. We miss more when we talk.

According to Amy Cuddy, “When you stop talking, stop preaching, and listen, here’s what happens: People can trust you. … if you do not have people’s trust, you will find it very hard to influence them in a deep and lasting way. You acquire useful information, which makes it more easier to solve any problem you face. You begin to see other people as individuals- and maybe even allies. You no longer see other people as stereotypes. You develop solutions that other people are willing to accept and even adopt. When people contribute to the solutions- when they are co-owners of them- they are more likely to commit to and follow through with them. When people feel heard, they are more willing to listen. … If people don’t feel that you ‘get’ them, they are not inclined to invest their time and energy in activities- such as listening- that will help them to understand you.”

Just listen. Stop preaching. If you want others to hear you, you must first hear them.

Further Reading:

Cuddy, A., Presence: Bringing your BOLDEST SELF to your BIGGEST CHALLENGES (New York: Hachette Book Group, 2015): 78-81.

What Do You Really Want?

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

What you are going through right now is not part of who you are, is not who you are, is not part of your dream, is not you. But do not let what you are going through stop you from pursuing your true life. Because whatever you are going in your life is temporary, not permanent. It will go away.

But do not forget that where there are issues, where there are problems, where there are obstacles, there are solutions. The point is to trust yourself. Just focus on where you are going. Because real success comes from pursuing your dreams and being willing and ready to do whatever it takes to get what you want. Just make sure you are doing what you are supposed to be doing to get what you want.

Remember, what you want is not going to come to you. If you really want it, you must go out there and fight for what you want. Do not forget failure. But in spite of failures, as long as you never stop thinking, never stop working, never get distracted, you will arrive at your destination. The real question here is: What do you really want?

Do not forget that you will get what you want if you really want it. We do not see what we have because we never stop worrying about what is not there. We are always thinking about what we want to get. When we don’t get what we want, we get distracted. But do not let that happen to you.

Whether you get what you want or not, celebrate what you already have. What you already have is priceless. Do not ignore what you have, celebrate it. You have what you have for a reason. From now on, you should always focus on what you already have. People are not happy because they never stop thinking about what they do not have. Remember, the more you think about what you don’t have, the more you get distracted. Do not let that happen to you.

You can make yourself happy. You can do that by focusing on what you already have, not what you do not have. Be grateful for what you already have, not what you do not have. Because what you have is yours.