How To Work Well With Others

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We work well with other people when we understand them, when we see them as human beings, when we make them comfortable, when we make them feel better about themselves.

We are better when we do things togther. Because we are not smart enough to know everything, to know what they know. That is why working with other people is one of the best ways to achieve greatness in life.

Working well with others brings us together to think, to create, and to change the world around us.

If you can’t get along with people, you have got to check yourself. Maybe you are expecting the wrong things from them. Maybe you want them to know you first before you get to know them.

Whatever it is, just know that people are different. They are not bad. They are different. If you want to know them, you have got to treat them differently.

You can work well with others when you treat them as they want to be treated, when you embrace their imperfections. Because no one is perfect. ‘Everyone is weird and nervous. No matter how famous or important, everyone is just really weird and really nervous. Especially the people who don’t seem weird or nervous.’ It is okay to be weird, especially when you are learning, when you are trying to get better.

You can work well with others when you are just you. ‘When we have no idea what’s going on, we should always say, ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ If you don’t know something, say it. If you don’t understand something, do not walk away. If you don’t ask for what you want, you will never get it.

You can work well with other people when you are not trying to be who you are not, when you are not faking your life, when you are truly interested in other people. ‘You cannot be an interesting conversationalist if you are faking interest in something.’

You can work well with other people when you know when enough is enough. According to Ross, ‘There’s nothing wrong with focusing on the details. But focusing on the details at the expense of your personal life is not a good idea.’ When you focus too much on details, you are holding yourself back. And the people you are working with are not going to be happy with you. Paying attention to details is good, but do not use it to take yourself down.

You can work with other people when you put them first, when you consider how they do their work. Because ‘doing work too fast is a bad idea. But doing work too slow is a terrible idea.’ The message is: To work well with other people, you must first understand them.

You can work well with other people when you know what is truly important to you. Because ’employers don’t want to know how you actually are. They want you to be the you that they want you to be.’ Having a job is good, but not a terrible one. Working for someone who doesn’t care about other human beings is not good for humanity. If you can’t change it, you have got to leave. Because your life matters. Remember, you have got one life to live. You can get another job, but you can’t get another life. So take care of yourself.

You can work well with other people when you can manage your time really well. Because if you can manage your time, you can manage your life. Time management is not really about time management. If we are real here, time management is life management. Time is not what you can stop, but you can manage how you live your life. When it comes to time, ‘If you want to be on time, you will be on time. Because being on time is easy. Respecting time is the tricky part.’

You can work well with other people when you respect yourself. Believe in what you are doing, in what you are saying. Because ‘if you believe in what you’re saying, then the rest is easy. Because if you believe- like- really believe – then all you have to do is talk.’

You can work well with other people when you are passionate about your work, when you love what you are doing. Because if you’re not happy with yourself, you are not going to do a good job. If you are not passionate about your work, then ‘go find something to believe in.’

You can work well with other people when you are a good listener. Not if you are a good listener, but when you are a good listener. Because ‘when you listen, you access a new dimension of the conversation.’ When you listen to the other person, you get to know the person better. When that happens, we can work together.

Source

Ross McCammon (2015). Works Well With Others: An Outsider’s Guide to shaking Hands, Shutting Up, Handling Jerks, and Other Crucial Skills in Business That No One Ever Teaches You

How To Build Extraordinary Relationships

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Life is about relationships. We live with people, not with facts. We work with people, not with facts.

We love people, not facts. We grow with people, not with facts. We depend on others for progress, not on facts. We go to places with people, not with facts.

We get better when we connect with other people, not when we connect with facts. According to Andrew Sobel and Jerold Panas, ‘… facts and figures might be an important part of work, but they don’t take you to the highest level of relationship building.’

If you want your success to happen faster than you think, you must focus on people, not on facts.

‘Facts don’t change people. People change facts.’

‘You build strong relationship through great conversations, not one person showing the other how much they know.’ If you don’t care about other people, they don’t care how much you know.

If you are serious about building great relationships with great people, don’t focus on yourself, focus on them. Talk with them, not to them. You know people better when you are interested in them, when you love them for who they are, not for what they can do for you.

Follow the person, not the position.’

Work well with everybody. Because you don’t know who has the power to change your life. Don’t just focus on those with titles. Focus also on those who are doing the dirty work. They are human beings. When you put people first, they will put you first.

The greatest gift is to believe in someone.’

To believe in other people, you have got to believe in yourself. Why is that? Because no one can give what one doesn’t have. If you don’t believe in yourself, no will believe in you.

‘Know the other person’s agenda and help them accomplish it.’

When it comes to building great relationships, do not forget to think about what the other person wants to achieve. Always ask yourself, ‘What is in it for the other person?’ When you help people get what they want, they will help you get what you want.

Integrity isn’t important- it’s everything.’

Your integrity is who you are. It is how you live your life. It is what you do, how you do it, and why you do it. Your integrity is what you say, how you say it, and why you say it. If you want to keep it alive, you have got to be yourself.

Integrity is not about trying to be like another person. Integrity is about being you, no matter what.

Walk in the other person’s shoes.’

Empathy matters. Because you do not know what the other person is going through in his or her life. To know, don’t assume, ask. Don’t try to impose your values on people. Because they are human beings. Human beings go through things, things that you don’t know. If you want to really connect with another person, you must first get to know what is going on in the other person’s life.

Don’t be put off by an awkward start- find something personal that connects you and you may develop a wonderful relationship.

If you want to build a great relationship with another person, another different human being, you have got to learn to take things easy. Do not take things personally. Because it is not about you. It is what is going on in the other person’s life. Be patient. Because if you are not being patient with yourself, you will miss the point. And the relationship won’t work.

Give trust to get trust.’

Trust is the beginning of all great things. Distrust is the beginning of all failures. When it comes to building relationships with other people, trust is everything.

Change the environment and you’ll deepen the relationships.’

Whether you are dealing with your clients, your coworkers, or your friends, when you change where you are, the things you do will change, how you do them will change. What you talk about will be different. The people you talk to will be different. And how you see the world will be different. And what you know will increase.

And your life will never be the same again.

Source

Andrew Sobel and Jerold Panas (2014). Power Relationships: 26 Irrefutable Laws for Building Extraordinary Relationships