How To Build Extraordinary Relationships

Life is about relationships. We live with people, not with facts. We work with people, not with facts.

We love people, not facts. We grow with people, not with facts. We depend on others for progress, not on facts. We go to places with people, not with facts.

We get better when we connect with other people, not when we connect with facts. According to Andrew Sobel and Jerold Panas, ‘… facts and figures might be an important part of work, but they don’t take you to the highest level of relationship building.’

If you want your success to happen faster than you think, you must focus on people, not on facts.

‘Facts don’t change people. People change facts.’

‘You build strong relationship through great conversations, not one person showing the other how much they know.’ If you don’t care about other people, they don’t care how much you know.

If you are serious about building great relationships with great people, don’t focus on yourself, focus on them. Talk with them, not to them. You know people better when you are interested in them, when you love them for who they are, not for what they can do for you.

‘Follow the person, not the position.’

Work well with everybody. Because you don’t know who has the power to change your life. Don’t just focus on those with titles. Focus also on those who are doing the dirty work. They are human beings. When you put people first, they will put you first.

‘The greatest gift is to believe in someone.’

To believe in other people, you have got to believe in yourself. Why is that? Because no one can give what one doesn’t have. If you don’t believe in yourself, no will believe in you.

‘Know the other person’s agenda and help them accomplish it.’

When it comes to building great relationships, do not forget to think about what the other person wants to achieve. Always ask yourself, ‘What is in it for the other person?’ When you help people get what they want, they will help you get what you want.

‘Integrity isn’t important- it’s everything.’

Your integrity is who you are. It is how you live your life. It is what you do, how you do it, and why you do it. Your integrity is what you say, how you say it, and why you say it. If you want to keep it alive, you have got to be yourself.

Integrity is not about trying to be like another person. Integrity is about being you, no matter what.

‘Walk in the other person’s shoes.’

Empathy matters. Because you do not know what the other person is going through in his or her life. To know, don’t assume, ask. Don’t try to impose your values on people. Because they are human beings. Human beings go through things, things that you don’t know. If you want to really connect with another person, you must first get to know what is going on in the other person’s life.

‘Don’t be put off by an awkward start- find something personal that connects you and you may develop a wonderful relationship.‘

If you want to build a great relationship with another person, another different human being, you have got to learn to take things easy. Do not take things personally. Because it is not about you. It is what is going on in the other person’s life. Be patient. Because if you are not being patient with yourself, you will miss the point. And the relationship won’t work.

‘Give trust to get trust.’

Trust is the beginning of all great things. Distrust is the beginning of all failures. When it comes to building relationships with other people, trust is everything.

‘Change the environment and you’ll deepen the relationships.’

Whether you are dealing with your clients, your coworkers, or your friends, when you change where you are, the things you do will change, how you do them will change. What you talk about will be different. The people you talk to will be different. And how you see the world will be different. And what you know will increase.

And your life will never be the same again.

Source

Andrew Sobel and Jerold Panas (2014). Power Relationships: 26 Irrefutable Laws for Building Extraordinary Relationships