Why People Don’t Understand Who You Are

little boy looking at his father
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Human beings are human beings. We are here for different reasons. We are created differently. We are after different things. Some are going after long-term goals. Others are going after short-term goals.

Whatever you are going after in your life, make it your own. Make it come alive. Feel it. If you don’t get it, you can’t see yourself doing it in the future, then don’t do it. Don’t even try to be there! Because it is not yours. What is yours will make sense to you, not to others.

That is why some people are still struggling to know you, to get to know where you are going, or where you are coming from. They can’t seem to get it. They are trying to know why you do what you do, why you think the way you think, but they are left in the dark. They are stuck in the middle of nowhere.

Let them get stuck. That is not your problem. Your problem is not to worry about what people are thinking about you. Your number one job in your life is to have the courage to be real to yourself, to become who God created you to be, to be there for you when you need you. It is not to waste your time on things that are not going to be important to your life in the future.

It is okay to be different. Don’t try to be who you are not. It is not going to work for you. If you are not true to yourself, at some point along the way, it will start to work against you. You will start to get the feelings that you have betrayed yourself, that you are no longer the person that you used to be to yourself. You start to see yourself differently. You start to separate yourself from your real self.

No matter who you are, how smart you are, if you are against yourself, you are done! Growth is gone. Success is gone. Relationship is gone. Why? Because people want to do things with people they can trust. Think about it.

If people are NOT nice to you, that is okay. It is your life to live. But be nice to people. Live your life. It is okay if they don’t know why you are doing what you are doing. That is okay. Don’t worry about what they are saying about you. That is what people do when they don’t understand why other people are doing what they are doing.

They don’t understand you because you have chosen yourself over all other things. They don’t understand you because you are not afraid to focus on what is going on in your life. You are not afraid to listen to yourself, to listen to other people. You are not afraid to embrace who you are, where you are, and your imperfections. You are not afraid to accept what life has to offer. You are okay with the present. You don’t try to be who you are not. You know that life is never going to be perfect, that things are always changing. You are not afraid to say, ‘I don’t know.’

People don’t understand you because you are not afraid to fail, to make mistakes. Because it is how we grow. People don’t understand your life because it is your life, not theirs. You are not living for them. You are living for yourself.

If people don’t know you, don’t try to explain yourself to them. If they are really interested in you, they will come to you. People who are interested in your life will come to you. But those who are not interested in your life will never come to you. That is okay. Because they don’t know you. Because you are not living your life for them. You are living your life for yourself.

Why You Should Bet On Yourself First

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This is the truth: ‘If you don’t bet on yourself, if you do not believe in yourself, if you do not believe in what you are doing, no one is going to bet on you.

If you want people to bet on you, you must first bet on yourself. In Suneel Gupta’s book Backable: The Surprising Truth Behind What Makes People Take a Chance on You, this is what makes people take a chance on you:

‘I think it’s pretty hard to fake real passion. You have a sense that they have really dug deep on something and they are hoping to dig deeper. That it’s something where there’s real passion behind it as opposed to just kind of the flavor of the mouth.’- John Palfrey

‘Different is oftentimes way more compelling than better. Because different sticks. Different is memorable. Different matters. Different isn’t based on some other conception of something. If you have the chance, be different, not better.’- Ann Miura-Ko

‘People don’t really like numbers. Numbers are very important, but they don’t remember numbers. Numbers don’t reach your heart. When you reach somebody’s heart, that moves them to do things or to not do something.’– Brian Grazer

‘It’s not really worth talking about what’s going to happen in years three to five, because you got to go do years one and two anyway … Let’s not spend too much time talking about a future that we have to earn the right to.’- Any Dunn

‘Deep empathy is a really critical factor. It’s empathy, not just observation. Observation is data, but empathy, really, is walking the walk with others and understanding not just pain points, but how they are living their lives.’- Tina Sharkey

‘You need to do whatever it takes to convince me, or the powers that be. If there’s an idea that you really believe in, you need to do whatever it takes to get us to do it. You should burn down your car in the parking lot, if you think I’m making a stupid mistake. And if you don’t … it’s your fault for giving up too easily.’- Peter Chernin

‘The business of venture capital asks us to be looking for what is possible today but highly relevant tomorrow. To find that balance you have to have both a vision for the future and then a practical approach to what you are going to do in the next twelve months. When I think about something that’s backable, we are looking for the balance of both.’- Kirsten Green

Source

Suneel Gupta (2021). Backable: The Surprising Truth Behind What Makes People Take a Chance on You