Tag: Negative thoughts

You Don’t Need This Person In Your Life

Photo by Karolina Grabowska

It does not matter where you are, what you are doing, where you are going, you do not need someone who is constantly putting you down, who is never for you, who does not support your dreams, who always talk you out of your dreams, who never sees anything positive in your life.

If you want to grow yourself, you need someone who is not afraid to tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

Do not hang out with negative people, with toxic people, with people who are not going anything, who are not doing anything to improve their lives, to change their situations, to position themselves for greatness.

In his book Higher is Waiting, Tyler Perry wirites, “Is there someone in your life who is contantly putting you down, triggering your feelings of inadequacy? You don’t need this person. Ask yourself, “Why am I staying?”

Yes, why are you still in a terrible marriage? Why are you still with a terrible boss? Why are you still hanging out with lazy people? Why?

No matter what you are going through right now, if you do not stand up for yourself, people will abuse you. If you do not love yourself, people will abuse you. People will feed you with the food you don’t want to eat. They will feed your heart with the wrong words.

Do not worry about who is for you or who is against you. If you are for yourself, if you know what you want for yourself, if you do not live for others, you can make your life work for you, not against you. If no one is for you, be for yourself. That is good enough. Yes, it is.

How Setting Healthy Boundaries Can Help Your Focus

Photo by Josh Hild

Jessica Dore writes, “Healthy boundaries are like demarcations that separate our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors from the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of others.”

It is important to set boundaries. If you do not already have one, you are putting your happiness at risk. If you do not know what you want, people will give you what you do not want. What you want is not a “rigid boundary”, but a healthy one.

Jessica Dore says, “A rigid boundary is one where nothing gets in and nothing gets out.”

That is not what you want. You want a healthy boundary. A healthy boundary is one where good things get in and bad things get out. It is a boundary where positive thoughts get in and negative thoughts get out. It is a boundary where you separate your negative thoughts from your positive thoughts.

If you want your boundary to work, to protect you, to separate you from toxic people, you must take it seriously. You must not joke with it. If you do, other people will joke with it.

But do not make your boundaries too rigid. In her book Tarot for Change: Using the Cards for Self-care, Acceptance, and Growth, Jessica Dore writes, “Ideally what we want is a boundary that’s firm, visible from a mile away but not welcoming. There’s a door way through the wall, but the gatekeeper is discerning and has a zero-tolerance policy for nonsense.” She adds, “The person who presumably built the wall is ill at ease. While a proper boundary should give us a break from the need to always stand guard, a porous one keeps us incessantly scanning the horizon for incoming threats.”

If you are not happy with yourself, think about what you are bringing into your life.