Tag: Forgiveness

2 Anger Management Lessons From Dalai Lama

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

When you are angry, the Dalai Lama says, “Keep a calm mind, study the situation, then take a countermeasure. If you let a wrongdoing happen, it might continue and increase, so, out of compassion, take appropriate countermeasures.”

You can’t live without anger. But how you act matters. What you do matters. When you are angry, try to control yourself. You can’t control the other person. But you can control yourself, your actions.

Do not let your anger take over your life. When you are angry, ask yourself, Is this the right way to conduct myself?

If it is not the right way, then stay away. Forgive yourself. Forgive the other person. It is difficult, but doable.

Do not go to bed with someone else’s problem.

Do not let anger ruin your life, your day, your future. No matter what, always try to stay calm when others are going crazy. The Dalai Lama says, “Tolerance means that you should not develop anger or hatred. But if another person does something harmful to us,’ and we do nothing, the person may take even more adavantage of us, and even more negative action may come.”

Treat yourself as you want to be treated. Remember, whatever you tolerate, people will do more of it to you. If you want others to treat you with love, you must first treat yourself with love. If not, it won’t happen.

Further Reading:

Goleman, D., A Force for Good: The Dalai Lama’s Vision for Our World (New York: Bantam Books, 2015): 86-87.

We Are Bound To Fail

Photo by Liza Summer

“… But when it comes to things we think really matter, like creating a career or raising children, we bear down, tighten up, and absolutely refuse to fail. Anyway, that’s the theory. The reality is, we are bound to fail. By refusing to accept this, we only make things worse. Conversely, if we only own our failure openly, publicly, with genuine regret and absolutely no shame, we reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection- the things we thought we’d get by succeeding.”- Martha Beck, as quoted in O’s Little Guide to Starting Over

Failure will happen. You cannot stop it. We are here to fail. Because if you want to grow, if you want to move to the next level, without failures, it is not going to happen. So when you fail, instead of beating yourself up, find out what went wrong. Let the people around you know what happened. Do not hide it. See what you can take away from it. And then continue with your life.

“We are bound to fail.” it is going to happen. It is your learning point. When you fail at something, learn from it. Take it as an advantage to know what you do not know. Take it as an opportunity to stretch yourself, to challenge yourself, to get out of your safe zone. Do not avoid it. If you do, according to Martha Beck, “we only make things worse.”