Tag: Forgiveness

6 Important Lessons From Rachel Hollis On How To Put Life Back Together

Photo by Connor McMannus

As the old saying goes, “You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it.” You can’t control life, but you can control your own life. Live your life. Do not destroy yourself just to make other people happy.

If you are not happy, it is because you are not brave enough to face your life. No matter what is going on out there, it is your responsibility to make yourself happy. If you can’t do it for you, who do you think is going to do it for you. If you are honest with yourself, the answer is you.

If you want to put your life together, here are some strategies, according to Rachel Hollis.

She says, “Don’t fear your weakness, fear drowning in despair for the rest of your time on earth because you were too afraid to confront your pain.” No matter what you are going through in your life, if you want to put your life together, do not “cover your pain to make other people more comfortable.”

She says, “If you want to move forward, be honest about what’s going on even if it’s only to yourself.” If you have the courage to be honest with yourself, that is good enough.

She says, “Stop trying to cover up your emotions, or, frankly, anything you don’t like about yourself or your feelings, with a new coat of paint. … But in order to do that, you’ve got to be real. You have to allow yourself to truly feel what you feel before you can feel what you’d like.” Allow yourself to be you, to express yourself. If you don’t express your God-given self, then what are you doing with it?

She says, “Have the courage to admit who you are, even if it’s only to yourself at first.” Have the courage to admit who you are to yourself, to your mnd, to your body, and to your soul. Why is that? To know others, you must first know yourself. If not, you are faking it. Do not fake your way through life. Live your way through life. Grow your way through life. Do not be scared to set boundaries for yourself. They work.

She says, “When one thing changes, everything changes, even if it takes you a bit to admit it and adjust.” When something changes in your life, you are no longer the same person. Change is important. See it as a blessing, not as a curse.

She says, “You are going to have to love yourself enough to seek help. You are going to have to love yourself enough to forgive yourself. You are going to have to love yourself enough to believe that you can be better, that you will be better, next time. You are also going to have to love yourself enough to walk away from anyone who weaponizes your guilt and uses it against you.” You have the power to do whatever you want. But to do that, you have got to be real with yourself.

Remember, according to Rachel Hollis, “You are an ever-evolving being who will continue to change over time.”

2 Anger Management Lessons From Dalai Lama

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

When you are angry, the Dalai Lama says, “Keep a calm mind, study the situation, then take a countermeasure. If you let a wrongdoing happen, it might continue and increase, so, out of compassion, take appropriate countermeasures.”

You can’t live without anger. But how you act matters. What you do matters. When you are angry, try to control yourself. You can’t control the other person. But you can control yourself, your actions.

Do not let your anger take over your life. When you are angry, ask yourself, Is this the right way to conduct myself?

If it is not the right way, then stay away. Forgive yourself. Forgive the other person. It is difficult, but doable.

Do not go to bed with someone else’s problem.

Do not let anger ruin your life, your day, your future. No matter what, always try to stay calm when others are going crazy. The Dalai Lama says, “Tolerance means that you should not develop anger or hatred. But if another person does something harmful to us,’ and we do nothing, the person may take even more adavantage of us, and even more negative action may come.”

Treat yourself as you want to be treated. Remember, whatever you tolerate, people will do more of it to you. If you want others to treat you with love, you must first treat yourself with love. If not, it won’t happen.

Further Reading:

Goleman, D., A Force for Good: The Dalai Lama’s Vision for Our World (New York: Bantam Books, 2015): 86-87.