Tag: professional development

You Can’t Change People, But You can Change Yourself

by Bright Osadiaye, posted in Change Management
Paper Kite Butterfly Perching on Red Flower in Close-up Photography
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

People change because they want to change, not because they are threatened to change. It is difficult to change yourself, let alone to even think of changing other people. It is good to try, but you are unlikely to succeed.

Change is not comfortable. People don’t like to change, because it is not easy. It makes them nervous. It makes them uncomfortable. They will resist it. Since you know how hard it it to convince people to change, why bother?

It is good to try. Remember, no matter what you do, no matter the strategy you use to convince them to change, there are people who will never change. They love what they are doing. They are comfortable with where they are and with what they are doing. They will change when they are ready.

In order to succeed in convincing people to change, give them valid reasons why they should change. Give them valid reasons why they should leave their comfort zones for something they don’t understand. Let them know that changing is coming. Don’t surprise them. If you do that, they will resent and resist your project. Make them understand that where they are going will be better than where they are coming from. Give them hope. Coach them. Make them comfortable. Don’t exclude those who are not in support of your change process. Listen to them. They have something valuable to add to your change project.

Don’t get frustrated if people are not ready to change. They will change when they are ready. It will not happen if they don’t believe in you. Before they even listen to you, they have to believe in what you are selling. So be honest when dealing with people. Thomas A. Kempis said, “Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” If you can’t change yourself, don’t even bother to change others. Change starts with you. People will change when they see you change.

Change is personal. If you want people to change, be honest, and give them time to process it. Don’t rush them, and they will consider it.

You Can’t Control People, But You Can Do This One Thing

by Bright Osadiaye, posted in Personal Development
Man Wearing Brown Suit Jacket Mocking on White Telephone
Photo by Moose Photos on Pexels.com

You cannot control what people do to you. You cannot control how people treat you. You cannot control how they react to you. People react the way they do because they see the world differently. They don’t see the world the way you do. They don’t think the way you do. They view the world through a different lens. They have the right to behave the way they behave. They have the right to act the way they act. They have the right to treat you the way they do. It is their choice. Choice matters.

You cannot control people’s behavior, but you can control how you react to them. You can control yourself. You can control your emotions. If people treat you in a bad way, you have the choice to treat them in a positive way or in a negative way. If people treat you in a bad way, don’t fight back with anger, resentment, but with love.

Instead of fighting back with resentment or anger, try to understand why they are behaving the way they do. They have reasons behind their actions- whether they are accepted or unaccepted. It is not good to fight back with anger because you don’t know what they are going through in life. We are all fighting something in life. We are all going through something in life. If people treat you in a bad way, don’t jump to conclusion, try to understand where they are coming from. If you take the time to know them, you will see that they are not as terrible as you have imagined them to be. People are naturally good, but they don’t know how to show it to others.

When people are acting in weird ways, don’t criticize them. Try to find out who they are, where they are coming from, how they have been living their lives, and what they have gone through in life. When you know where people are coming from, it is easier for you handle them. Sometimes when people are acting out, they are not acting to hurt you. They are fighting with themselves, not you. Learn not to take things personal. If you take things personal, you are hurting yourself. But if you don’t take things personal, you will not be impacted by them.

Dr. Wayne Dyer said, ” How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” It does not matter how people treat you, but how you react to it matters.

Control yourself, not people.