You Can’t Change People, But You can Change Yourself

Paper Kite Butterfly Perching on Red Flower in Close-up Photography
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People change because they want to change, not because they are threatened to change. It is difficult to change yourself, let alone to even think of changing other people. It is good to try, but you are unlikely to succeed.

Change is not comfortable. People don’t like to change, because it is not easy. It makes them nervous. It makes them uncomfortable. They will resist it. Since you know how hard it it to convince people to change, why bother?

It is good to try. Remember, no matter what you do, no matter the strategy you use to convince them to change, there are people who will never change. They love what they are doing. They are comfortable with where they are and with what they are doing. They will change when they are ready.

In order to succeed in convincing people to change, give them valid reasons why they should change. Give them valid reasons why they should leave their comfort zones for something they don’t understand. Let them know that changing is coming. Don’t surprise them. If you do that, they will resent and resist your project. Make them understand that where they are going will be better than where they are coming from. Give them hope. Coach them. Make them comfortable. Don’t exclude those who are not in support of your change process. Listen to them. They have something valuable to add to your change project.

Don’t get frustrated if people are not ready to change. They will change when they are ready. It will not happen if they don’t believe in you. Before they even listen to you, they have to believe in what you are selling. So be honest when dealing with people. Thomas A. Kempis said, “Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” If you can’t change yourself, don’t even bother to change others. Change starts with you. People will change when they see you change.

Change is personal. If you want people to change, be honest, and give them time to process it. Don’t rush them, and they will consider it.


Only you can change your life

Red and Green Tree Leaves on a Sunny Day
Photo by Le vy on

Only you can change your life. No one can help you. Only you can change your life because change happens from the inside out, not from the outside in.

Change can happen only when you are ready to change. If you are not ready to change your life, no one can force you to do so. Even if people succeeded in pushing you to make a change in your life, that change is not going to last. It will last only when you are ready to change your life.

It is great to change what is not working well for you. It is not okay to remain with what is not moving you forward, what is not adding value to your life, what is not stimulating your creativity. If you do, you are missing out. You are cheating yourself.

“Only you can change your life.”

Change is hard, but unavoidable. If you don’t like something in your life, change it. But before you change it, make sure you are really ready to change. Remember, change is a way of life. It takes time to make a real change. When you start, be patient, and change will happen.

Only you can do it, no one else. Carol Burnett said, “Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.”

Only you, no one else. Change is here!