Freedom is life. It is everything. If you are not free, you are not living. Freedom is more than just walking around.

Freedom is when you have the power to control your life, when you have the courage to do what you love to do. Freedom is when you are comfortable with yourself. It is not when you are under the control of another person.

A controlling person, according to Dr. Lisa Aronson Fontes, ‘often feels stronger when he makes his partner feel powerless and ashamed.’

‘A controlling person asserts power by setting rules and micromanaging his partner’s everyday life.’

‘A controlling man might accuse his partner of flirting or being involved sexually with friends or coworkers.’

‘A controlling person feels threatened when his partner’s life doesn’t revolve entirely around his own.’

‘A controlled person cannot reach her full potential.’

‘A controlling man tries to become the only authority in the house and encourages children to disrespect their mother.’

‘The controlling person defines reality. If he says it’s ‘love,’ then it’s ‘love,’ even if it feels like control.’

‘A controlling person communicates: ‘If you cared about us a couple, you wouldn’t make problems.’ Women keep silent to avoid making waves.’

‘Controlling people often consider themselves victims, evoking their partner’s pity and compassion.’

‘It is difficult for controlling men to change, But staying the same is also difficult.’

No matter what you are going through in your life, remember that ‘you are the one who decides how much is too much.’

As always, you are not a victim; you are a victor. Stay safe!

Further Reading:

Lisa Aronson Fontes, PhD (2015). Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship