Tag: Feeling

How To Change Your Day

by Bright Osadiaye, posted in Health & Well-Being, Leadership, Management, Personal Development, Workplace Learning
Photo by hello aesthe on Pexels.com

If you don’t like what is going on in your life, then you have got to change your day.

Focus on others, not on yourself. Serve others, not yourself. That is how you are going to change your day.

‘Serving others requires a shift of focus toward the way you work, rather than the outcome of your work. It requires a shift in focus from feeling threatened or ‘under fire’ at work, to feeling challenged and useful.’

You can do it. To change your day, according to Andy Core, ‘Refuse to complain. Instead, infuse your day with expressions of appreciation and gratitude.’

‘Make it a goal to change the atmosphere in your workplace or home to one of relational strength, not stress. Remember to serve, and not shine.’

‘Settle on a set of patterns and attitudes that you believe will gain you the greatest possible fulfillments and satisfaction. And then stick with those patterns and attitudes. Don’t budge from them.’

‘Explore more of the ‘inner you.’ Choose to create an attitude that becomes the atmosphere in which you live and work.’

‘Think about mini-patterns now so you don’t have to think about it later.’

‘Decide where you need to jump in and make a change in your day.’

‘Be honest with yourself and own up to your junk hours.’

‘Take time to reflect on the way your daily behaviors produce attitudes, feelings, and ideas.’

‘Be a DO-KNOW-BE: Lasting motivation is an experiential lesson.’

‘Remember, ‘Nothing in your life gets better until your daily patterns do. But, when your daily patterns get better, everything gets better.’

Source

Andy Core (2014). Change Your Day, Not Your Life: A Realistic Guide to Sustained Motivation, More Productivity, and the Art of Working Well

What You Should Know About A Controlling Person

by Bright Osadiaye, posted in Motivational Quotes, Personal Development

Freedom is life. It is everything. If you are not free, you are not living. Freedom is more than just walking around.

Freedom is when you have the power to control your life, when you have the courage to do what you love to do. Freedom is when you are comfortable with yourself. It is not when you are under the control of another person.

A controlling person, according to Dr. Lisa Aronson Fontes, ‘often feels stronger when he makes his partner feel powerless and ashamed.’

‘A controlling person asserts power by setting rules and micromanaging his partner’s everyday life.’

‘A controlling man might accuse his partner of flirting or being involved sexually with friends or coworkers.’

‘A controlling person feels threatened when his partner’s life doesn’t revolve entirely around his own.’

‘A controlled person cannot reach her full potential.’

‘A controlling man tries to become the only authority in the house and encourages children to disrespect their mother.’

‘The controlling person defines reality. If he says it’s ‘love,’ then it’s ‘love,’ even if it feels like control.’

‘A controlling person communicates: ‘If you cared about us a couple, you wouldn’t make problems.’ Women keep silent to avoid making waves.’

‘Controlling people often consider themselves victims, evoking their partner’s pity and compassion.’

‘It is difficult for controlling men to change, But staying the same is also difficult.’

No matter what you are going through in your life, remember that ‘you are the one who decides how much is too much.’

As always, you are not a victim; you are a victor. Stay safe!

Further Reading:

Lisa Aronson Fontes, PhD (2015). Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship