‘When they trust your intentions, your direct observations and questions will have the desired impact.’
‘Your openness, caring, and curiosity make it possible for a different truth, belief, or understanding to emerge.’
‘Presence allows you to have an awareness of what is occuring in yourself, in the person you are with, and in the space between you.’
‘If you are truly there to help a person think, you must let her thoughts have a mind of their own. Remain open and curious to what will unfold.’
‘When the person’s view of reality makes a distinct shift, have the person articulate what he or she now believes to be true.’
‘Try to keep your head, heart, and gut open and balanced while you listen. When you feel uncomfortable, however, speak and listen more deeply from your gut. When you feel impatient or begin to judge the person, focus on reopening your heart.’
‘Honor a person’s silence with your own. The mind is at work.’
‘Formulate your questions based on what the other person tells you, what you sense he or she is leaving out, and what you sense is triggering his emotions and driving his behavior.’
‘Remember, you aren’t there to fix her, convince her, or make her wrong. Do not slip into evaluating what should be true and real.’
‘To put a closure on the conversation, end by asking if he needs further support and how he would like to follow up with you.’
Source
Marcia Reynolds (2014). The Discomfort Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations Into Breakthroughs
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