No relationship is perfect. But ‘relationships become problematic when one person’s fulfillment is routinely sacrificed in service of the other’s.’
If you want to fulfill your potential, you need a healthy relationship. You need a healthy human being in your life. You need people who love you for who you are, not for what you can do for them.
Do not surround yourself with people who are in your life to get. It is not good for you. Why is that? Because if you are unable to meet their needs, they will leave you for another person. The more you do, the more they want from you. The more you do for them, the less you do for yourself.
It is okay to help other people. But do not forget yourself.
As always, you are more, not less!
Source:
Lisa Aronson Fontes, PhD (2015). Invisible Chains: Overcoming Control in Your Intimate Relationship
‘Who we interact with day in and day out, who we turn to when the going gets tough, and who we share our working spaces with- all of these things have a profound impact on how we feel and perform. If we are constantly working against the mindset of those who surround us, it’s only a matter of time before we, too, will get dragged down….’- Brad Stulberg & Steve Magness
Success is a team sport. It is a team work. If you are not with the right people, no matter how smart you are, how tough you are, how committed you are, someone in your team, the one who is not doing his or her work, is going to bring the team down.
If you are in an environment where you are not free to experiment, to try new things, if you really want to grow, you must go. If you stay, you are not helping yourself. Instead, you are stealing from your future.
To succeed in life, no matter where you are, you need the right people in your life. If you don’t surround yourself with the right people, people who are willing and committed to doing the work, you are not going to succeed.
According to Brad and Steve, ‘If we surround ourselves with those who support, motivate, and challenge us, we can reach greater heights than we could have alone.’ Because no one is smart enough to know everything.
But do not forget that you are responsible for your own success, for your own growth. No one is coming to save you if cannot save yourself.
It is okay to surround yourself with the smartest people in the world, but do not expect them to do everything for you. That is not maturity. Maturity is knowing when to take action. It is knowing when to ask for help.
In the words of Daniel Chidiac, ‘Don’t be scared to be dependent, but never base your total happiness on another individual. You alone are the only one who can truly fulfil yourself.’ Don’t. Do what you can for yourself. Stop waiting.
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