Tag: Love

What You Should Know About A Controlling Person

by Bright Osadiaye, posted in Motivational Quotes, Personal Development

Freedom is life. It is everything. If you are not free, you are not living. Freedom is more than just walking around.

Freedom is when you have the power to control your life, when you have the courage to do what you love to do. Freedom is when you are comfortable with yourself. It is not when you are under the control of another person.

A controlling person, according to Dr. Lisa Aronson Fontes, ‘often feels stronger when he makes his partner feel powerless and ashamed.’

‘A controlling person asserts power by setting rules and micromanaging his partner’s everyday life.’

‘A controlling man might accuse his partner of flirting or being involved sexually with friends or coworkers.’

‘A controlling person feels threatened when his partner’s life doesn’t revolve entirely around his own.’

‘A controlled person cannot reach her full potential.’

‘A controlling man tries to become the only authority in the house and encourages children to disrespect their mother.’

‘The controlling person defines reality. If he says it’s ‘love,’ then it’s ‘love,’ even if it feels like control.’

‘A controlling person communicates: ‘If you cared about us a couple, you wouldn’t make problems.’ Women keep silent to avoid making waves.’

‘Controlling people often consider themselves victims, evoking their partner’s pity and compassion.’

‘It is difficult for controlling men to change, But staying the same is also difficult.’

No matter what you are going through in your life, remember that ‘you are the one who decides how much is too much.’

As always, you are not a victim; you are a victor. Stay safe!

Further Reading:

Lisa Aronson Fontes, PhD (2015). Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship

How To Reach Greater Heights

by Bright Osadiaye, posted in Personal Development
Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels.com

‘Who we interact with day in and day out, who we turn to when the going gets tough, and who we share our working spaces with- all of these things have a profound impact on how we feel and perform. If we are constantly working against the mindset of those who surround us, it’s only a matter of time before we, too, will get dragged down….’- Brad Stulberg & Steve Magness

Success is a team sport. It is a team work. If you are not with the right people, no matter how smart you are, how tough you are, how committed you are, someone in your team, the one who is not doing his or her work, is going to bring the team down.

If you are in an environment where you are not free to experiment, to try new things, if you really want to grow, you must go. If you stay, you are not helping yourself. Instead, you are stealing from your future.

To succeed in life, no matter where you are, you need the right people in your life. If you don’t surround yourself with the right people, people who are willing and committed to doing the work, you are not going to succeed.

According to Brad and Steve, ‘If we surround ourselves with those who support, motivate, and challenge us, we can reach greater heights than we could have alone.’ Because no one is smart enough to know everything.

But do not forget that you are responsible for your own success, for your own growth. No one is coming to save you if cannot save yourself.

It is okay to surround yourself with the smartest people in the world, but do not expect them to do everything for you. That is not maturity. Maturity is knowing when to take action. It is knowing when to ask for help.

In the words of Daniel Chidiac, ‘Don’t be scared to be dependent, but never base your total happiness on another individual. You alone are the only one who can truly fulfil yourself.’ Don’t. Do what you can for yourself. Stop waiting.

As always, you are more, not less!