Tag: Healthy

How Setting Healthy Boundaries Can Help Your Focus

Photo by Josh Hild

Jessica Dore writes, “Healthy boundaries are like demarcations that separate our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors from the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of others.”

It is important to set boundaries. If you do not already have one, you are putting your happiness at risk. If you do not know what you want, people will give you what you do not want. What you want is not a “rigid boundary”, but a healthy one.

Jessica Dore says, “A rigid boundary is one where nothing gets in and nothing gets out.”

That is not what you want. You want a healthy boundary. A healthy boundary is one where good things get in and bad things get out. It is a boundary where positive thoughts get in and negative thoughts get out. It is a boundary where you separate your negative thoughts from your positive thoughts.

If you want your boundary to work, to protect you, to separate you from toxic people, you must take it seriously. You must not joke with it. If you do, other people will joke with it.

But do not make your boundaries too rigid. In her book Tarot for Change: Using the Cards for Self-care, Acceptance, and Growth, Jessica Dore writes, “Ideally what we want is a boundary that’s firm, visible from a mile away but not welcoming. There’s a door way through the wall, but the gatekeeper is discerning and has a zero-tolerance policy for nonsense.” She adds, “The person who presumably built the wall is ill at ease. While a proper boundary should give us a break from the need to always stand guard, a porous one keeps us incessantly scanning the horizon for incoming threats.”

If you are not happy with yourself, think about what you are bringing into your life.

Why You Fear Failure

Young slender female in black bra standing with closed eyes covering face with hand
Photo by Anete Lusina

No one likes to fail. You are not alone. But failure is part of life. Whether you like it or not, you are going to fail. It is going to get worse before it gets better. There is no overnight success. You are not going to master your work overnight. If you want to grow, if you want to conquer your fears, don’t rush the process. Because it takes time to learn something. Don’t expect things to turn out right the first time. It is not going to happen. If you expect it to work out for you the first time, believe me, that is a losing strategy. It won’t work. Just give yourself time to do your thing. Things are not always going to work out perfectly the first time. Instead of beating yourself up for not completing your work, why not give yourself credit for even trying it. Respect failure. Respect the process. Because everything takes time to do, especially when you are doing it for the first time. If you want to change your life, from now on, you must change your meaning of failure. Failure is not failure. It is a way forward. Because you cannot grow without failure. That is what separates the successful ones from the rest of us. They are not afraid of failure. You shouldn’t be afraid of failure. Do not fear it. Use failure to move yourself forward in your life. When you fail, live it. When you fail, ask for help. Do not be scared to ask for help. Celebrate it when you get it. Help is healthy. It is life. When you make mistakes, fix them. Own them. Do not blame anyone for your mistakes. Instead of blaming other people for your own error, celebrate yourself for knowing what you don’t know.