Life is bigger than wallowing in despair. To achieve success, to advance yourself, wallowing in despair won’t do it for you.
If you have been do it, it is time to stop. In her book Didn’t See That Coming: Putting Life Back Together When Your World Falls Apart, Rachel Hollis writes, “It’s time. If you want to begin to move forward, then you must stop wallowing in despair and take the next right step to help you move forward.” Do all that you can to move yourself forward.
If you can’t do it now, do it later. You move your life forward or backward by what you do. If you do the right things, you move your life forward. But if you do the wrong things, things that are against you, that are against your soul, you move your life backward. Theron Q. Dumont once said, “By what you do, you either advance or degenerate.” The question is, what are you doing right now to advance yourself?
As the old saying goes, “You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it.” You can’t control life, but you can control your own life. Live your life. Do not destroy yourself just to make other people happy.
If you are not happy, it is because you are not brave enough to face your life. No matter what is going on out there, it is your responsibility to make yourself happy. If you can’t do it for you, who do you think is going to do it for you. If you are honest with yourself, the answer is you.
If you want to put your life together, here are some strategies, according to Rachel Hollis.
She says, “Don’t fear your weakness, fear drowning in despair for the rest of your time on earth because you were too afraid to confront your pain.” No matter what you are going through in your life, if you want to put your life together, do not “cover your pain to make other people more comfortable.”
She says, “If you want to move forward, be honest about what’s going on even if it’s only to yourself.” If you have the courage to be honest with yourself, that is good enough.
She says, “Stop trying to cover up your emotions, or, frankly, anything you don’t like about yourself or your feelings, with a new coat of paint. … But in order to do that, you’ve got to be real. You have to allow yourself to truly feel what you feel before you can feel what you’d like.” Allow yourself to be you, to express yourself. If you don’t express your God-given self, then what are you doing with it?
She says, “Have the courage to admit who you are, even if it’s only to yourself at first.” Have the courage to admit who you are to yourself, to your mnd, to your body, and to your soul. Why is that? To know others, you must first know yourself. If not, you are faking it. Do not fake your way through life. Live your way through life. Grow your way through life. Do not be scared to set boundaries for yourself. They work.
She says, “When one thing changes, everything changes, even if it takes you a bit to admit it and adjust.” When something changes in your life, you are no longer the same person. Change is important. See it as a blessing, not as a curse.
She says, “You are going to have to love yourself enough to seek help. You are going to have to love yourself enough to forgive yourself. You are going to have to love yourself enough to believe that you can be better, that you will be better, next time. You are also going to have to love yourself enough to walk away from anyone who weaponizes your guilt and uses it against you.” You have the power to do whatever you want. But to do that, you have got to be real with yourself.
Remember, according to Rachel Hollis, “You are an ever-evolving being who will continue to change over time.”