To hear yourself, you must pay attention to what you are saying to yourself. Stop saying negative things to yourself. If you do not know what to say to yourself, just say, “I am love myself.” That is good enough.

Pay attention to your words. They are powerful. They can hurt you. If you do not want your own words to hurt you, attention is key.

Here is why:

According to Edith Eger, “What you pay attention to grows stronger. Spend a day listening to your self-talk. Is it full of “I should,” “I shouldn’t,” and “yes, but”? Do you tell yourself, “It’s my fault,” or “I don’t deserve it,” or “It could have been worse”? Replace these messages of guilt or shame with a daily practice of kind and self-talk. As soon as you walk up in the morning, go to the mirror and look at yourself with loving eyes. Say, “I’m powerful. I’m kind. I’m a person of strength.” Then kiss yourself on the back of your hand. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Say, “I love you.”

Yes, love yourself. If you do not have the courage to love yourself, to say, “I love you,” then you have got a lot of work to do.