No matter what you have done to yourself, no matter where you have been, no matter what you have called yourself in the past, and no matter what other people have done to you, you are a new person. You are no longer the old you. You are ready for a new beginning. You can rediscover yourself. And the right place to start is right here.
To rediscover yourself, you must 'set boundaries.' If you want something new in your life, then pay attention to what you allow into your mind. According to Payal Kadakia, 'We can't control other people, but we can set boundaries and limits. We don't have to talk about anything we don't want to. Everything we allow into our mind is food for thought.'' Because thoughts matter.
Have a solid grasp of where you are in your life. If you know where you are, then you can plan your next move. But if you do not know where you are, you don't even know what is going on around you, then moving forward will be a heavy load to carry. According to Robert Ringer, 'Proper perception of reality is as crucial to life as oxygen. Trying to to make it through life without a solid grasp of reality is like stumbling around in a dark room laden with mines. Being aware of what you are doing and why you are doing it- a prerequisite for looking out for number one- means being conscious of what's going on around you.'' If you want to know where you are in your life, do not ignore what is happening in your life. It matters.
Be Honest with yourself. John Maxwell said, 'You can't help yourself if you are kidding yourself.' If you truly want to rediscover your true self, you must stop kidding yourself. And you must be honest with yourself. To quote Ringer, 'Deluding oneself about a person's true nature is not only self-deceitful, but self-destructive as well.''Why is that? Because you will never get what you are seeking in your life, which is to rediscover yourself. You can't rediscover your true self if you are not being honest with yourself. If you want to move forward, honesty is the way.Focus on what you still have. Focus on what you still have. Accept where you are. And be grateful for your life. We are happier when we appreciate our lives, when we focus on what is going well in our lives, and when we accept ourselves for who we are. In her book The Velveteen Principles: AGuide to Becoming Real, Toni Raiten- D' Antonio writes, 'Gratitude flows when you are able to focus on the positive instead of the negative.'' When we are going through difficult times in our lives, what do we do? We lose hope.
And hope is what we need to put our lives together. If you want to rediscover yourself, do not lose hope.
Because it is the way forward.
Jessica Dore writes, “Healthy boundaries are like demarcations that separate our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors from the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of others.”
It is important to set boundaries. If you do not already have one, you are putting your happiness at risk. If you do not know what you want, people will give you what you do not want. What you want is not a “rigid boundary”, but a healthy one.
Jessica Dore says, “A rigid boundary is one where nothing gets in and nothing gets out.”
That is not what you want. You want a healthy boundary. A healthy boundary is one where good things get in and bad things get out. It is a boundary where positive thoughts get in and negative thoughts get out. It is a boundary where you separate your negative thoughts from your positive thoughts.
If you want your boundary to work, to protect you, to separate you from toxic people, you must take it seriously. You must not joke with it. If you do, other people will joke with it.
But do not make your boundaries too rigid. In her book Tarot for Change: Using the Cards for Self-care, Acceptance, and Growth, Jessica Dore writes, “Ideally what we want is a boundary that’s firm, visible from a mile away but not welcoming. There’s a door way through the wall, but the gatekeeper is discerning and has a zero-tolerance policy for nonsense.” She adds, “The person who presumably built the wall is ill at ease. While a proper boundary should give us a break from the need to always stand guard, a porous one keeps us incessantly scanning the horizon for incoming threats.”
If you are not happy with yourself, think about what you are bringing into your life.
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