Jessica Dore writes, “Healthy boundaries are like demarcations that separate our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors from the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of others.”
It is important to set boundaries. If you do not already have one, you are putting your happiness at risk. If you do not know what you want, people will give you what you do not want. What you want is not a “rigid boundary”, but a healthy one.
Jessica Dore says, “A rigid boundary is one where nothing gets in and nothing gets out.”
That is not what you want. You want a healthy boundary. A healthy boundary is one where good things get in and bad things get out. It is a boundary where positive thoughts get in and negative thoughts get out. It is a boundary where you separate your negative thoughts from your positive thoughts.
If you want your boundary to work, to protect you, to separate you from toxic people, you must take it seriously. You must not joke with it. If you do, other people will joke with it.
But do not make your boundaries too rigid. In her book Tarot for Change: Using the Cards for Self-care, Acceptance, and Growth, Jessica Dore writes, “Ideally what we want is a boundary that’s firm, visible from a mile away but not welcoming. There’s a door way through the wall, but the gatekeeper is discerning and has a zero-tolerance policy for nonsense.” She adds, “The person who presumably built the wall is ill at ease. While a proper boundary should give us a break from the need to always stand guard, a porous one keeps us incessantly scanning the horizon for incoming threats.”
If you are not happy with yourself, think about what you are bringing into your life.