Tag: Energy

This Is What Happens When You Stop Talking

by Bright Osadiaye, posted in Personal Development, Personal Growth
Photo by mentatdgt

Stop talking. It is listening time. It is time to let go of what you know. It is time to learn from other people. It is time to respect other people. Why is that? Because listening to others is a sign of respect.

When you listen to others, here are some of the things you are saying to them: I hear you. I love you. You are a human being. I respect you. Your problem is my problem. We are in this together. We will get through it together. I want to learn from you. You know what I do not know. You have something important to say. I value you. We can work together. You are the boss, not me. I want to hear your struggles. I want to learn from your successes. I want you to be free to express yourself. I don’t want you to hold anything back. I want you to help me become a better learner, a better listener, a better leader.

If you want to become a better person, you must first learn how to listen.

We learn more when we listen. We miss more when we talk.

According to Amy Cuddy, “When you stop talking, stop preaching, and listen, here’s what happens: People can trust you. … if you do not have people’s trust, you will find it very hard to influence them in a deep and lasting way. You acquire useful information, which makes it more easier to solve any problem you face. You begin to see other people as individuals- and maybe even allies. You no longer see other people as stereotypes. You develop solutions that other people are willing to accept and even adopt. When people contribute to the solutions- when they are co-owners of them- they are more likely to commit to and follow through with them. When people feel heard, they are more willing to listen. … If people don’t feel that you ‘get’ them, they are not inclined to invest their time and energy in activities- such as listening- that will help them to understand you.”

Just listen. Stop preaching. If you want others to hear you, you must first hear them.

Further Reading:

Cuddy, A., Presence: Bringing your BOLDEST SELF to your BIGGEST CHALLENGES (New York: Hachette Book Group, 2015): 78-81.

Why You Shouldn’t Fight The Negative

by Bright Osadiaye, posted in Personal Development, Personal Growth
Photo by cottonbro

Do not do it. Because you will never win. The best thing to do for yourself is to focus your energy on positive things. Do not focus on negative things. Do not hang out with negative people. Instead of trying to fight the negative, why not focus on loving yourself? Why not focus on what is important to you? Why not do what makes you really happy? Why not commit yourself to why you are alive?

According to Louis Hay, “Fighting the negative is a total waste of time if you really want to make changes in your life. The more you dwell on what you don’t want, the more of it you create.” So if you don’t want more of negative things, do not focus on them. Let them go. Let anger go. Let resentment. Let envy go. Let discouragement go. Let hate go. Let what you don’t want go. Do not create more of them. Why is that? Because everything you do, every thought you think, is creating your future. It is creating your future life. It is feeding your soul.

So if you want positive things in your life, you must stop thinking about negative things. You must focus on healing yourself. You must focus on discovering why you are here. You must focus on giving yourself life. You must focus more on what you have, not on what you do not have. Plant great seeds.

To win in life, you must plant the seeds of love, of faith, of respect, of courage, of kindness, and of compassion. And you can plant them. The question is, will you do it?