Tell Yourself What You Need To Hear, Not What You Want To Hear

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Honesty is the art of telling yourself what you don’t want to hear. To know yourself, you have to be honest with yourself. If you are honest with yourself, you will be honest with others. When you are honest with other people, they will trust you. They will do anything for you. They will help you succeed. They will trust you and comet to you when they are in trouble.

You cannot be successful in life without first being an honest person. Nobody wants to work with a dishonest supervisor, manager, or boss. As a boss or a manager, if your people don’t trust you, you have lost it all. They will keep sensitive organizational information to themselves. When they are in trouble, instead of coming to you, they will talk to their friends, seek outside help.

If you want them (your people) to trust you, don’t lie to them. How? Make it a habit to always tell them the truth, no matter what. When things are going well in your organization, let them know. When things are not going well in your organization, let them know. Make sure you keep your promise. Don’t say one thing today, and do another tomorrow. If you say you want to do A, do A. Don’t say A, and do B. They will not trust you when you say something like that next time.

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If you want to achieve success with people, with yourself, you must be honest with yourself, and with the people you interact with on a daily basis. You cannot achieve success if you are a dishonest person. Start telling yourself the truth. Start telling yourself what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. There is growth in what you need to hear. There is a disaster in what you want to hear. What you need to hear reveals reality to you. What you want to hear, on the other hand, prevents you from facing your reality. Without facing your reality, there is no growth. If you want to grow, face reality. Ask yourself questions that will reveal your hidden secrets- your strengths and weaknesses.

If you want things to change in your life, start telling yourself the truth. The truth will set you free.


The Little Things Matter

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Vincent Van Gogh said, “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.” The little things have the power to change our lives. The problem is, we pay more attention to the big things than to the small things.

Why? People believe that it is the big things that can change their lives, their situations. They ignore the little things because they believe, in their minds, that it is the big things that can move mountains. How wrong!

The little things can change your life. If you want to build great relationships, for example, you need to pay attention to the little things that are important to people, such as respect. You cannot win people to your camp without a clear awareness of the little things that make them happy, or that make them sad. It is important to know about the little things that make people who they are, because it will make it easier for you to connect with them.

Notice the little things that make people strong, and you will enjoy working with people. They will enjoy working with you, too. Paying attention to the little things matter, because human beings matter.

What Are You Hearing?

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What are people telling you to do? Who are your advisers? Are they making sense? If not, why are they still advising you?

In order to make it in life, you need good advice from other people- your friends, teachers, relatives, or your spouse. But what are they telling you? Is what they are telling you helping or hurting you?

If you want to grow, to succeed, you need to listen to great people, you need to learn from great people, especially if they have done what you are about to get into. Their experiences will lead you a long way. Great people will not only talk to you on how to succeed, they will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. They know that what you need to hear is what you need to succeed, to grow, to learn, and to become a better person. They will tell you what you need to hear because they know you need good information to make the right decisions, to keep you in check when it comes to making hard calls, going through difficult times, or doing difficult things.

You need great people in your life, not fake people. Great people are more than your mentors, they are your protectors. They don’t hide behind anything. They will tell you what they see in you that are not promising. They will point out your strengths and weaknesses, and they will tell you honestly while they are your strengths or why they are your weaknesses. And they will tell you how you can make them better.

“Great people are more than your mentors, they are your protectors.”

Fake people, fake friends, fake relatives will tell you everything that you want to hear. They are the first to tell you that everything is fine, no mistakes. You are perfect! They are the first to criticize you behind your back. If you want to grow, you don’t need these people in your life. They are terrible. They will destroy your dreams by not telling you what they saw. They will keep it to themselves because they want you to fail. You don’t need these kinds of people. They are fake people.

Be around people who are honest, not fakers. Be around people who honestly want you to grow, who celebrate you, who see potential in you, and who push you to be your best self. If you find one or two, you will enjoy your journey to success. If you can’t find great people to be with, don’t waste your time looking for one. You can become one to someone, and that person, if you are lucky, will be the supporter that you have been waiting for.

What you need to hear is not always fun to hear. It is uncomfortable. It is painful when something terrible about you is out in the open. But if you want to grow, you must develop the courage to listen to what you need to hear.

Sometimes people want to tell us what we actually need to hear, but we don’t want to hear it. We don’t like what it will bring out about us- weaknesses, cover-ups, insecurity, or low self-esteem. If you really want to grow, if you really want to be successful, find a way to ask for what you need to hear. If not, you are going to be your own mentor. If you have the courage to ask for it, to listen to it, to take and use it, you will experience a great change in your life.

People tell you what you want to hear because they want to keep the relationship going. If you want people to tell you what you really need to hear, make them comfortable to do it. Signal to them that you are ready to receive the feedback you are about to get. Signal to them that you are ready to grow, and that you will use it to improve your life. When people are comfortable with you, they will reveal a lot to you. It is your responsibility to create the room for the conversation to happen. People want to talk to us, but they don’t know how to do it. Help them, and they will help you in return.