Are you trying to control the world around you? Are you trying to control other people? Or are you trying to be perfect, to make everything perfect?
If you try, you are just planning to fail, not to succeed. Why is that? Because you are a human being. No matter how smart you are, you are not going to be able to make everything perfect. It won’t happen.
If you try to do it, you are just frustrating yourself. You are making yourself mad. You are not being nice to yourself. You are not being kind to yourself.
So when things go wrong, do not beat yourself up. Don’t say things like, ‘I am an idiot. I am not smart enough. Why me?’ When you say things like these to yourself, your brain is hearing you. And your brain will make them possible for you.
When things go wrong, remember that you are a human being, an imperfect being. Be nice to yourself. When you are nice to yourself, you say, ‘everything is going to be alright.’ You don’t beat yourself up. You don’t tear yourself down. You say positive things to yourself. You say, ‘I am not my mistakes. I am not my failures. I am a learner. I am not perfect.’
When you stay positive, when you look at your mistakes as learning chances, it makes them easier to manage. It focuses your attention on what you can do better next time. It stops you from reaping yourself apart. It stops you from being unkind to yourself. And it reminds you that it is okay to mess up.
Finally, when things go wrong, remind yourself that you are not a failure, that you are learning, still learning, that it is okay to mess up, and that you are not going to give up on yourself, no matter what.
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