If You Want To Find Yourself, You Must Stop Pleasing People

Happy adult woman talking on phone and using laptop while chilling at home
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

Help people, but don’t please them. Why are you wasting your time to please people? Why? You need people to help you succeed in your life. Pleasing people is not the right way to get there. Pleasing people is not the right way to build a positive relationship. Some people will like you for who you are; others will hate you for who you are. Don’t worry. Keep moving forward. Your life is not in their hands. You must focus on making yourself better.

You say yes to everything. You can’t say no to people. You don’t want to let people down. You want people to like you. You want to fit in. You care about what other people think of you. You want to look good in the eyes of other people. You don’t want people to reject you. Wow!

“Please all, and you will hurt yourself.”

Know this: “Until you start saying yes to yourself, you will never find yourself. Until you stop pleasing people, you will never know your true self.

In reality, when you don’t focus on yourself, you are stopping yourself from moving forward. You are stopping yourself from growing. You are stopping yourself from building a meaningful life. To stop that, you must be comfortable with who you are. You must practice your core values. Let your values guide your life. Aesop said, “Please all, and you will please none.” Please yourself to grow yourself. Please all, and you will hurt yourself.

How To Know Yourself Better?

Woman in Red T-shirt Looking at Her Laptop
Andrea Piacquadio

You have got to be patient with yourself. It takes time to really discover your true self. You cannot know yourself better if you are not honest with yourself. Be honest with yourself. Do not hide behind anything. Do not wear any mask to cover your face. Reveal who you really are to yourself. Don’t do what other people are doing. Do what your heart is telling you to do. You must allow yourself to be yourself. You are still searching for your real self because you haven’t allow your true self to come out.

To know yourself better, you must allow yourself to be vulnerable. You must allow yourself to look foolish. Do your own thing. Follow your own passion. But before you follow your passion, you must find a way to test your passion. Because your passion has to be yours. If not, you are just wasting your time. Norman Vincent Peale said, “Our problem is to become acquainted with our own selves, letting our personalities loose upon the world for the sheer adventure of their full development and in the positive hope that they may in their own way lift the level of humanity.” If you don’t know who you really are, you can’t develop yourself. And if you cannot develop yourself, you cannot develop others.

“To find yourself, think for yourself.”- Socrates

You must do your own thing. It is easier to deceive yourself than to face your own reality. If you can’t face your own reality, if you can’t do your own thing, if you can’t follow your own dream (even if it is unpopular), you are just chasing other people’s dreams. You are just living other people’s lives. It is okay to learn from other people. But live your own life. Be comfortable with your failures. Be comfortable with your mistakes. Be ready to be vulnerable. There can be no progress without vulnerability. If you are not ready to try new things, you are not ready to leave your comfort zone. Whether you are ready to leave your comfort zone or not, know this: “Your true self is not in your comfort zone.” To know yourself better, you must embrace yourself. You must be comfortable looking at yourself in the mirror. And to know yourself, you must look within you. Are you ready?