Why We Should Forgive Ourselves And Others

“The moment you decide to forgive and let your negative feelings melt away, you are on the road to freedom.”- Jen Sincero

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We need to forgive ourselves and others. Forgiveness is freedom. Forgiveness is not about them, it’s about you.

If you want to be free, forgive people who have wronged you. Don’t walk around with guilt, shame, or your mistakes. Beating yourself up will not change anything, it will make you feel terrible about yourself.

In her book You are a BADASS: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living an Awesome Life, Jen Sincero writes, “Forgiveness is all about taking care of you, not the person you need to forgive. It’s about putting your desire to feel good before your desire to be right. It’s about taking responsibility for your own happiness instead of pretending it’s in somebody else’s hands. It’s about owning your power by giving all your anger, resentment, and hurt the heave-ho.”

Forgiveness is not really about them, it is about you. It is taking care of yourself- your health, your happiness, your life, and your future.

Forgiveness gives us freedom to do whatever we want. In her book 52 Simple Ways to Encourage Others, Catherine E. Rollins writes, “Our forgiving the person who has wronged us accomplishes two things simultaneously. It removes us from standing in the way of the other person’s confrontation of himself and his actions…. Forgiving others free us from the negative impact of hatred on our souls, emotions, and bodies.”

Forgive the person who has wronged you, so that you can move on. If you don’t forgive, you cannot move on. You need to move on in your life.

No matter what people have done to you, forgive them. Don’t beat yourself up. Let it go. According to Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham, “‘Letting go” involves a breaking down of resistance to reality, a surrender of the demand for certitude; it can be pictured as a letting fall of fetters, a shucking of bonds of fear and possessiveness now experienced as no longer binding.”

Forgive yourself, forgive others, and you are on your way to success. You can do it!

Healing Is…

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What does healing mean to you? Does it mean pain to you? Does it mean suffering to you?

When something happen to us, we try to understand everything before we commit ourselves to healing. Wrong, Wrong, Wrong. Instead of trying to understand everything before you commit yourself to self-healing, accept what happened, and find the next way forward.

Things will always happen to us. There is no way we can live our lives without running into problems. Some we can control; others we cannot control.

Control what you can control. Forget what you cannot control, and move on. Make sure you learn your lessons.

Don’t try to control your healing. Let your healing take care of itself. If you try to control your healing, you are preventing your healing from taking place. Gary Hensel posted a quote on my Twitter, which reads, “Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.”

The problem we have with healing ourselves is that we try to control the healing process. If you try to control your healing, you are doing yourself more harm than good. Don’t try to control it.

When you are hurt,

  • Don’t try to control your own healing. You will not succeed in doing that. The more you try to control everything, the more you are harming yourself.
  • Accept the healing by not trying to be the master controller of your own healing
  • Have an open mind to your own healing.
  • Forgive yourself for what you are going through. Forgiveness is a two-way street.
  • Forgive others for what you are going through. When you forgive others, others will forgive you.
  • Don’t try to understand what happened to you. Accept what happened to you. Don’t beat yourself up. Learn from it, and keep going.

Healing is a process. It takes time to heal. Be patient. If you want to heal yourself, accept healing for yourself, and keep moving forward.